Mentoring youth, helping the poor
Hector Gonzalez volunteers for the Boy Scouts, the St. Vincent de Paul Society and people who need home or car repairs they can’t afford.
But an extremely difficult childhood and young adulthood, combined with a grave accident he had as a commercial truck driver, have often left the 65-year-old parishioner of St. Patrick Parish in Youngstown astonished that he is “still here.” Even so, he believes he is loved and inspired by God, who seems to work through his family members, living and deceased.
A native of Puerto Rico, four-year-old Gonzalez came with his parents to live in Brooklyn, New York, in 1965. He had no real relationship with his father, and he and his mother lived homeless for three months. At age nine, Gonzalez joined a street gang, “because when you’re surrounded by gangs [and afraid not to join one], it’s all you know and it’s what you do.” The experience provided him with friends and a sense of belonging—but also with negative male role models and weapons.
At age 11, Gonzalez landed in a juvenile detention center. At 12, he started selling drugs. By 19, he was in the state penitentiary. One of his gang names was “Warlord” because he was so hard-hearted. His mother lived in constant fear that he would not come home one day.
In 1985, after a series of unfulfilling dating experiences, Gonzalez and some of his gang friends were raucously partying in a local park when a young woman walked over and asked them to turn down their boomboxes, so she could hear her own music. Eulalia (“Lali”) Cresto impressed Gonzalez. “She was not afraid of us,” he marveled. He spent time talking with her, and soon, they were dating.
“It was God who got me and Lali together,” Gonzalez said, and it was his “tough” mother, Hilda Delvalle, who always insisted that he treat this very special woman right. One day, Lali told him he had to choose between her and the gang. “Lali changed my life,” he said with a smile.
The couple moved to Youngstown, where Lali had been raised. Gonzalez trained to be a truck driver and Lali studied to be a nurse. But early on, he became uneasy around her father, Felix Cresto, an active St. Patrick parishioner, who kept coaxing him to attend Mass.
“God doesn’t want me there,” Gonzalez insisted, “but Felix guided me out of my former life.” The couple was married at St. Patrick Parish, where Gonzalez found Father Ed Noga and the parishioners to be nonjudgmental and sincere. He joined the parish OCIA (Order of Christian Initiation for Adults) program and became active in various ministries and outreach. Today, the couple has two grown children, Saul and Yvette, and five grandchildren, ages 4 to 13.
One day, Gonzalez was assisting in young Saul’s CCD class when catechist Carla Hlavac (who later became director of the diocesan media library) invited him to talk to the students about his former life. “I didn’t know what I would tell the kids, but apparently it was a success because after that, I kept being invited to speak” at gatherings of young people.
In his talks, Gonzalez cautioned the youth that if they did not make good choices, they might have a traumatic or disappointing life. He told them that, as a teen, “I did a lot of drinking and drugs all day. I was bored and it was something to do.” He was stabbed and shot while he was a member of the gang, he said. He shared how he finally came to realize that the most important things in life are love of oneself and others, respect for one’s abilities, service to family and community, and being a good person.
Invited to speak at the National Catholic Youth Conference five times, Gonzalez found it gratifying that so many teens seemed to feel a connection with him. Years later, he said, one young man thanked him “for talking as a friend and a father to me.” Pressured to join “a bad group,” he said, “I remembered what you said and got away from them.”
Supporting young people remains a passion of Gonzalez, who also trained altar servers at St. Patrick Parish. The former director of Boy Scout Camp Stambaugh in Canfield, he has mentored members of Troop 44 for decades and continues to enjoy their company and advocate for them.
His dedication also extends to adults in need. Gonzalez spends several early mornings a week picking up donations from Target and local grocery stores to deliver to St. Vincent de Paul for its food pantry and dining hall in Youngstown. He and several friends bring coffee and, sometimes, donuts or sandwiches to the men living under the Mahoning Bridge. He also enjoys the smiles he gets when he installs a stove, a washing machine or a car starter for someone who calls the parish seeking assistance.
Gonzalez’s faith remains strong, particularly after his years-long recovery from an accident he had hauling hazardous materials, which left him with broken ribs, a collapsed lung, a deep gash in his head, traumatic brain injury, migraine headaches and the need to learn to speak and walk again, which put him on permanent disability in 2009. When he prays, he is always sure to confer with his late mom about current life situations. “And I talk a lot to Felix,” who had “the biggest heart in the world.” His late father-in-law “got me where I am today.”
Gonzalez also delights in his grandchildren. “Especially if I’m having a bad day,” he said, “my grandchildren make my day.”
Gonzalez and Lali relax together by visiting towns on Lake Erie and collecting colorful beach glass. He also is an amateur photographer, who enjoys capturing both the city of Youngstown and nature’s wonders. Carvings on old downtown buildings that non-walkers never see, the movement of rare white deer in Mill Creek Park and “a leaf that’s not supposed to be somewhere” draw his attention, he said, helping make his excursions fascinating and worthwhile.
