When we were expecting our first grandchild, I was so excited. I remember when he was born, I was somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, flying back from a business trip with many of my colleagues. They knew, before we took off, that my daughter was in active labor. When I turned on my phone after landing, I saw the picture of my grandson. I could not help holding my phone in the air to share it with the whole plane. Everyone celebrated with me!
As I was driving down to the hospital in Cincinnati to join my wife, who was already there, I remember having this strange thought that this baby is not going to be mine. For some reason this seemed different. My daughter, Sarah, and her husband, Mike, were the parents. He was theirs. I could not imagine yet what being a grandfather was going to be like. What was my new role? What influence would I have on him? Would I be relegated to an arms-length relationship after being so involved with my kids as a dad all these years? I know this sounds crazy, but I felt this strange distance, until I held him in my arms. In an instant, that distance vanished. He was mine, too. There was no doubt. I learned, from that point on, what this new role would feel like. From that point on, I was a grandparent.
Since then, we have had five other grandchildren. We have experienced their Baptisms, birthdays, First Communions, recitals, plays, soccer, football, basketball, cheerleading and Scouts. I get to babysit and video chat. We take hikes, ride bikes, prepare meals and watch movies. They love to hear family stories, and I answer lots of questions. I get to read them stories, tuck them into bed, help them with their prayers and give them blessings before they fall asleep.
I read a reflection recently where the author commented on the significance of the year 2033, which will mark 2,000 years since the Passion, Death and Resurrection of Our Lord, Jesus Christ (“Our Faith Always Keeps Our Eyes Toward the Future,” by Kevin Christopher Robles in America Magazine). The author wrote about the fathers of our faith, who gathered the deposit of faith we still celebrate today, and all those who, over 2,000 years, protected the faith and shared the stories of our sacred history from generation to generation. But the point that made the greatest impression on me was when the author reminded us of our role in this sacred history for the next 2,000 years. What an awesome—and in some ways scary—responsibility we have to protect and carry this deposit of faith to future generations.
If I take the experience I had when I held my first grandchild and apply it to the next 2,000 years, every single generation in my family—for the next 2,000 years and beyond—is mine. What I do today can and will make an impact on every child to every parent in my family—good or bad, positive or negative—for generations to come.
Scary? No, awesome! We have a huge opportunity as grandparents. How can we do it justice?
In a 2023 study from Harvard Graduate School of Education, titled “On Edge: Understanding and Preventing Young Adults’ Mental Health Challenges,” finds that 58 percent of young adults lack meaning and purpose in their lives. It also states, “Relationship deficits, too, appear to be epidemic among young adults, including loneliness (34 percent) and a sense of not mattering to others (44 percent).” And the list of challenges goes on.
It seems to me that what young adults are really looking for is hope! Through the synod process, which included listening sessions at parishes and faith communities across the world, Pope Francis arrived at this same theme for the great Jubilee Year of 2025. He learned what the world hungers and thirsts for: Hope!
I am looking forward to being with my grandchildren as they grow through middle school, high school, college and adulthood, God willing. But I know I do not have all the answers for them. What I do have is hope—hope that God will give me whatever I need to help them and to help them build a strong family and a strong Church, for the next generations, even 2,000 years from now and beyond.
How can we, as grandparents—or even as members of our faith communities who are among our young families—instill hope? The Harvard study gives a few recommendations:
1. “Engaging more young people in caring for others and in high-quality service of various kinds can, for example, both alleviate loneliness and provide meaning and purpose.” As grandparents, we can model this for them—not only in how we care for our grandchildren, but how we serve others in our communities through Christian service and stewardship. Even better, give them an opportunity to be holy by allowing them to do something for you, like chores or grocery shopping, even if you are able do it yourself.
2.“Younger adults also need older adults who share insights and wisdom.” How many of us sometimes sit back and worry, feeling helpless in the struggles of our young adult grandchildren? Grandparents have more to offer than they realize. Taking advice from the synod process, lending an open and nonjudgmental ear is the best way to gain trust and earn credibility so that young people open up to us. We cannot help otherwise.
3.“There are important structures, traditions and practices in many religious communities that create meaning and purpose, that enable young people to feel part of a larger human experience that transcends their achievements, and that mitigate loneliness.” I know you are doing what you can to model a strong faith life that is visible to your grandchildren. Do not think that goes unnoticed. Don’t be afraid to bring it up in conversations. Share what you experience in your parishes, at Mass, in your holy hour at Adoration in front of the Eucharist. If they confide in you about something, invite them to pray with you—right there at that time—to bring it outside themselves, outside their world, to somewhere with no limits in mercy, with unconditional love. I usually try to think about what has inspired my faith, and if it helped me, it may just help them, too.
